Common things in India part 1: Family members are extremely close to each other
I have heard that Indians are a race who have a strong lateral bonding.
In other words, there is a strong unity among fellows. Indians especially have a character of giving importance to family ties.
You will understand this if you mingle daily with Indian friends and acquaintances.
Anyway, they get a lot of calls from their parents. Parents also call their children a lot.
“Where are you now?”
“What are you doing now?”
“What did you do today?”
“I did — today”
“No, I didn’t call for any work”
These are usually what they talk about.
According to my statistical calculations, if a friend gets a call when I am with them, almost 80 percent of the times it is from their parents.
No matter how macho that Indian is, when I ask who had called, he will say,
“It’s my mom. She was asking where I am”
It makes me want to butt in the boke’s joke by asking, “Are you a mama’s boy?”
It might feel that way looking from the Japanese perspective but it is not so in India.
It is normal. Compared to Japanese parents Indian parents pamper their children excessively.
The overly pampering parents do it so thoroughly that you can easily see it on looking at them.
In India before taking any decisions they have to discuss them with their parents and respect their judgements.
Right from childhood to after being adults, they have strong relations and parents have a strong influence on them.
Therefore Indians usually tend to lean on their family or people around them for taking any decisions and are not good at taking immediate decisions.
In some cases, parents decide their marriage partners or the bride’s family has to bear all the expenses of their wedding.
They have a tremendous influence. Even post-marriage, they visit their families quite often.
But I think these family bonds are very nice.
In fact I think it would be good if Japanese family members would also be so close to each other.
I feel Japanese people have a strong independent will since childhood.
“It is so not cool to call parents”
“It is not cool to get help from parents”
“It is cool to be independent and live on your own”
Such people are more in Japan.
I used to be one of them too but on coming to India I changed my perspective. It would be good to be close to my family like them, right?
Biologically speaking, it is natural for parents to be worried about their children.
It is definitely sad that although you were close to them during childhood, now just because you are independent you do not keep in touch.
To think that ‘independence=not keeping in touch’ is also sad.
For Arabs also family is very important and almost 99 percent of the times, their marriage partners are decided by their parents.
I vividly remember my Arab friends telling me,
“I have to get married after returning to my country.Well I haven’t seen his/her face yet.”
“But nothing is more important than and my family’s honour and mine.”
“I will even give my life for my family’s honour.”
In Arab, where they work is also decided by their family through their contacts.
Well, I am not saying we should be like Arabs or Indians.
But we can at least learn from them and try to be less shameful and more open-minded about our family.